Oh the roughest young gal that you ever did see
Was a pert young lass out of Tennesee;
Who fancied finding gold was in her fate–
So she headed up north did Klondike Kate.
Klondike Kate just couldn’t wait,
Fancied findin’ gold was in her fate;
Klondike Kate was her brand new name–
She was rootin’,tootin’, scootin, shootin gold rush dame.
She went up north to the frozen land
(Was the mighty Yukon not the Rio Grande)
Was cold as ice and frozen too,
But Kate surried on cause she was tried and true.
Klondike Kate was a prospecting lass,
With a tin pan gullet and a burro ass;
She went to cities, she drank in the towns;
Klondike Kate knew her way around.
She hired a team to go with her,
Into the mountains where the gold diggers were;
But the indians said stay away from there,
“There’s a winter storm coming so you must beware!”
Klondike Kate just couldn’t wait!
Never mind the dark clouds hanging over her fate:
She lead her team of miners up the mountain trail
To a log cabin perched right on the edge of hell.
Well the wind started howling and the snow did blow
(And the men knew they had no other place to go)
Stuck in the mountains they found a shack–
But were soon gettin’ hungry caus for food they lacked!
Klondike Kate had sealed their fate!
Now huddled together for death they wait!
Gettin’ hungrier and hungrier they soon debate:
Which one of the dead would be best to eat?
Nobody knew Kate wasn’t a man,
For she glued on whiskers and called heself Dan!
In the middle of the night old Dan did rise,
While the others were asleep to give them a surprise
Klondike Kate never had no hate,
But she knew she would starve if she had to wait,
To eat her fill as they were snowed in–
And she didn’t think survivin’ was a terrible sin
One jumped up and begin to fight,
But Kate aimed the barrel and put that one right!
The other started howling and begin to moan
So Kate slit his throat to the spinal bone!
Klondike Kate never did debate,
If killing the men was or wasn’t her fate!
Of their cold blue flesh she surely ate;
All the better for her powerful hunger to sate!
Well she cut their flesh into jerky beef,
And waited and waited for a little relief;
Eventually she left that cabin of woe,
And made her way to town through the meltin’ snow.
Klondike Kate made her way to town,
As the world was turnin’ from white to brown…
And the soldiers at the fort all scratched their heads
In wonder that she wasn’t in the mountains dead!
Klondike Kate never did let on
That her menfolk companions was dead and gone.
She dropped their meat in the frozen snow…
Oh! Listen to the howlin winds scream and blow!
Now she pours the beer at the “Bucket of Grue,”
(And some say this story ain’t even true!)
But Old Kate she just a smiles and grins
That no one ever did find out that she ate them men!